I took a photo of our boy while he was playing with his toys. When I reviewed the photo – there it was. It made me teary-eyed. I looked at the photo and I saw the boy who’s not so little anymore. Almost three years have gone by. He’ll be three in a less than a week and here I am feeling all emotional.
I am pretty much aware that I feel this emotional every year, especially when his birthday approaches. That’s because my pregnancy and childbirth journey is still fresh in my memory. I may not exactly remember what happened every minute back then but I can still clearly see Kai’s face as a baby.
I can still picture the first time we locked eyes. His face is still very clear to me. When they placed him on my chest, he looked up and our eyes met. I remember I was thinking he looked like a turtle. I remember feeling exhausted and relieved I finally got over the labor and delivery. They placed me on a gurney and Kai was beside me. I felt overwhelmed. I can still breathe easy but inside it was overwhelming. I managed to give birth to a child.
Fast forward to three years later, and I’m dealing with tantrums and high-pitched screams. But there are more of the proud moments because I feel like I can talk sense into this little guy. He listens and understands. I can only count the times when he doesn’t do what we ask him to do. We’ve asked him to close the door. I’ve asked him to bring my phone to me. I’ve asked him to turn off the lights at bedtime and he does it. I’ve asked him to comb his hair, get his underwear, and even small reminders to wipe his feet when getting out of the bathroom each time I give him a bath. I’ve even asked him to pour water on Zee’s dish or hug or pat Bentley each time she meows for attention.
My boy has grown up. He learns quickly. He learns a lot every day. I admit that there are times that I have been so focused on my blog and always on Pinterest and Google searching for toddler bedroom ideas, or reading about toddler behavior and leaving him on his table, watching his favorite YouTube videos or playing with his My Busy Books. Each time I missed a moment of playing with him, I feel guilty. But I comfort myself (or Ivan makes it better) by saying that I’ve spent 24/7 with this kid and I never missed a milestone. I was there to watch how he learned how to crawl, stand and then walk. Or how he progressed from blabbing to forming full sentences.
Every time I missed a moment of playing with him, I feel guilty. But I comfort myself (or Ivan makes it better) by saying that I’ve spent 24/7 with this kid and I never missed a milestone. I was there to watch him grow and watch him learn new things. I never missed any of that and I guess I have to be thankful that I’m in this position – a work-at-home momma. I still feel lucky and blessed I am given this time and opportunity to be with my kid.
Like I always think to myself and tell a friend who’s feeling exhausted of being a mother, there may be bad days and there are moments when my toddler drives me crazy that I could cry but I can’t and I don’t want to complain. Instead, I try to remain even more patient than the mom I am yesterday. Because time will come (and I know this) that I will miss those crazy and chaotic moments with my boy.
Do you always feel emotional about your kid growing up fast? Share your thoughts down below.