Don’t Shame Breastfeeding Moms Who Choose To Cover Up

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Breastfeeding moms are being shamed for choosing to cover up

I am not really into debates and all because I believe everyone has their own opinion. But let me just get this out there to my nonexistent readers (lol). I came across a post in a Cebu mom group on Facebook calling out breastfeeding moms who choose to cover.

The comments kept pouring in and my phone kept buzzing with notifications as I happen to comment on the post as well. But when I checked again, the post has since been deleted. Anyway, in the post, this certain mom was ranting about why people (including or especially moms) make an issue about breastfeeding in public.

She also wrote something about breasts being created by God and how women should not be ashamed to use it in public to nourish their child. And then she also went on to label those who cover up as “arte” (negative connotation for prissy or nitpicky?) – and that did it for me.

I don’t usually comment in groups to debate, but this got me. Don’t get me wrong. I get her point! It was very well taken. Breastfeeding is natural, it’s normal and it’s beautiful – so why be ashamed of it? I am pro-breastfeeding myself and I believe in its benefits. I’ve seen it, duh? I breastfed my kid until he’s almost three. Some moments, my boy still latch on to my boob for comfort. And as I’ve said, I’ll do it all over again.

But in the almost-three-years of breastfeeding, I used a nursing cover. I am one of those breastfeeding moms who cannot bear to show my chest/nipple or have everyone see it while I’m feeding my boy. I never had issues with nursing covers – in fact, I love them. Kai and I were comfy with it – he ate peacefully and wasn’t bothered by the cloth. I chose the cool cloth for extra comfort. All in all – I loved covering up and I can say the same for Kai because he NEVER had a problem with that.

I salute moms who saw the threadstarter’s point and agreed that breastfeeding should be normalized. In our country, breastfeeding in public is not as much of a problem compared to Western countries, though. There’s no uber-shaming of moms who breastfeed in public, but the thing is, some members of the breastfeeding community are the ones who shame breastfeeding moms for choosing to cover up.It's totally fine for breastfeeding moms to cover up

Seeing the comments, I saw how many agreed; I can count with my fingers those who disagree – especially the part where she labels moms who cover up as “arte.” Does that mean that moms who choose to cover are not doing their jobs? Just because a mom chooses not to expose skin, does it mean she’s a bad breastfeeding mom?

And don’t get me started on those who shame formula-using moms. To each his own – I believe that. I don’t like getting my opinion out there about issues like this but this is just one time. Chance nalang! As I’ve said, breastfeeding is beautiful. I even encouraged a few friends to breastfeed and I felt awesome they followed my advice. There were those that I  have encouraged but they ended up using formula instead but that’s totally fine as well! But why do some moms shame those who don’t feed with their boobs? Does it make you, breastfeeding mom, superior to formula-using moms? I don’t think so because the most important thing is that the baby is well-fed and well-loved at the end of the day.

To the person who ranted: No one even called out on you for breastfeeding without a cover, so why would you go on shaming those who do? Personally, I don’t have a problem with not covering up, I can even say, “Good job.” But I feel more comfortable with a cover. That’s just me. My opinion. My self. My decision. My choice. There’s no need to shove your beliefs down someone else’s throat just because they don’t agree with your opinion. But if someone (who’s not breastfeeding) insists you cover up – that’s a different story. I would support you in your fight.

Dear moms, it doesn’t matter how you feed your child. If you go for breastfeeding – congratulations and welcome to the team! Good on you, because it’s not an easy task. If you choose formula because you failed at breastfeeding, good job for trying but sometimes things don’t work out for you. What matters is that you continue to find ways to ensure your baby gets to eat.

The most important thing here is respect. Respect a person’s decision and choice. After all, we are mothers and we only want what’s best for our little ones.

20 COMMENTS

  1. Very well said!! I want to share some of my thoughts.

    1. I’m all for normalizing breastfeeding! I never used a nursing cover for my first baby but use one for my second child. It doesn’t mean I am ashamed of breastfeeding in public but I hate all the unwanted stares from people who still think that breastfeeding should be done at comfort rooms.

    2. I have enough milk supply and I don’t find it hard to breastfeed. The downside is that both baby’s pedia, and my hema told me NOT to breastfeed anymore due to the medication I am taking.
    Some moms would still force me to do it. I feel like it’s no longer an encouragement. It’s like they’re shoving their advocacy down my throat.

    • Hi Aya!
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate you taking time to do it. And I agree with all of your points. It’s just sad that instead of supporting each other on the decision to breastfeed, some moms feel that they’re superior to those who don’t breastfeed. Tsk!

  2. Very well said. I am all for normalizing breastfeeding and am a big advocate for letting women nurse when they need where they need. Cover or no cover. I also know many moms who were unable to nurse or chose not to. All our kids are still healthy and thriving. It takes a whole village and it’s important to build one another up rather than tear one another apart!

    • Hello Momma,

      Yep, I totally agree! That’s the thing – we’re already mothers so it really doesn’t matter how we do it as long as what we’re doing benefits our kids.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  3. I am with you! It is my personal preference to cover up, I am a modest person in general. I don’t even like being in a bathing suit let alone a boob hanging out – plus all the pervs that do sexualize breastfeeding. Nope, not for me!

    • Hi Jacqui,
      Thanks for dropping by! The thing is that some moms even insist why should we be ashamed of our breasts… but nope. That shouldn’t be an issue in the first place. What matters here is that we are feeding our babies.

  4. Loved reading your post and agree with you 100% percent. I personally love advocating breastfeeding and I am not opposed to those who choose not to cover up, it’s a normal process. However, I am not comfortable breastfeeding without a cover in public, I don’t feel comfortable, and there’s nothing wrong with that, to each their own.

  5. I am with you! I breast feed both of my boys until they were 7 months. I had to stop because of work. I personally never breast feed in public. I am not bold enough to not care what people think. I never judged the moms that do. That is their choic and those babies are hungry! 🙂

  6. Breastfeeding is such a controversial topic. Even those who aren’t moms would sometimes choose to make you feel bad for certain decisions you’re doing for your family. I really wish people, especially fellow moms, would be more open-minded about breastfeeding and how people choose to do – with or without covers!

    Belle | http://www.OneAwesomeMomma.com

  7. I had no idea this was a thing! I definitely agree with you though! I am currently breastfeeding my daughter and I do not feel comfortable showing so much unless I am at home. I will definitely be using a nursing cover when I feel confident enough to nurse in public.

  8. Hello, Pineapple Mom.

    I think using a breastfeeding cover up or not should just be up to the mom. If she’s comfortable with it then it is not a problem. Very well said, Pineapple Mom.

    • Hello Susan,

      Yep! You’re right. It should be the mom’s choice and she shouldn’t be shamed for whatever choice she has.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for dropping by!

  9. Thank you for this post!! I feel as moms we should never shame each other but rather lift each up. But unfortunately there is so much mom shaming going around and the majority of it coming from other moms!! I agree with you where I find the point behind this woman’s post, that breastfeeding is a beautiful natural thing… it is, but everyone women should have their personal choice to cover up or not without feeling judged. I also personally chose to cover up while I breastfed because I didn’t feel comfortable being exposed, but yet I still loved and enjoyed those precious moments feeding my daughters. And when I had to stop breastfeeding both my girls after only 3 months to switch them to specialty formula for preemie weight gain and milk allergies, I was sad but knew it was best for my girls and I didn’t beat myself up about it.

  10. Thank you so much for posting this. I nursed my baby for 11.5 months and covered up every time in public. It wasn’t because I was ashamed, or thought other nursing mothers should. It was just what made me feel at ease and comfortable. It’s nice to hear your encouraging perspective.

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