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The decision to breastfeed Kai purely is one that I’ve prepared for several months before he came into this world. I knew I had no other choice but to give Kai what he needs and deserves. Kai is still feeding from my breasts even to this day and I have to say it paid off.
I can only count the times he’d been to the clinic to get checked for a bacterial infection. It was just one time that he had one, making it the first time for him to take antibiotics. The rest (twice or thrice) was just some viral infection that didn’t need pharmaceutical intervention. But apart from the health benefits of breastfeeding , there’s that special bond I have with him because I’ve kept him close to me since the day he was born. Then again, it’s that very same bond that may have turned him into a clingy toddler.
Don’t get me wrong. I love it when he looks for “mommy” each time I’m not by his side – that’s when I’m washing the dishes, or cooking, or cleaning the bathroom or even taking a bath. Kai’s clinginess is not even full-blown. He still forgets about me especially when the grammas, cousin, grandpa, uncles and aunts are here. He’ll forget about me for a while but eventually, he goes looking for me.
The sweetest thing would be to hear his soft voice calling out to mommy because he wants to have milk – either cuz he thirsts for it or he simply wants to gnaw my nipple. I also like to think he just misses me for a brief moment and wants not to miss me much by being close.
Then again, as adorable as it may be a to have your toddler appreciate your presence, a clingy little one also has its downside. For one, I couldn’t savor even at least ten minutes of my time to enjoy a day’s shower. I had to be quick in the bathroom, like about less than five minutes. It’s been that way since Kai was born.
The household chores thing even becomes difficult to accomplish. The consequence – they tend to pile up because again, you barely get the time to do things. There’s also the fact that I’m supposed to be not alone in this. I have a partner with me but no, Kai wants Mommy and not Daddy (honestly, even that can be flattering most of the time).
But really, it’s true that moms never get things done. If there are first time moms out there that get things done without getting a lot of help from others, I bow to you. But really, most of my friends complain about this and that that they end up getting a househelp. I’m not complaining to the point that I desperately need help with running things.
I’ve been there – thinking of hiring help, but these days, it’s hard to find someone you can trust. Eventually, I realize I don’t really need that much of a help. I have a man who supports me and helps out when everything’s too much. There’s also the thought that it’s just a phase and Kai needing me often will end at some point.
Don’t spoil your kids, they say. Teach them how to be independent very early on, they say. Control their clinginess, they say. Otherwise, they grow up to become highly dependent. I’m not buying that. I was clingy with my mom. She’s like the whole world to me when I was younger. Honestly and no I am not embarrassed by this, I stopped caressing her boob to sleep when I was about 7 years old. I ended up fine. I started living in my own house when I was 24.
I believe one becomes independent by learning and not by force. So no, I’m not going to force Kai to stop breastfeeding and no I won’t control his clinginess. Ever since he came imto my life, I told myself not to rush things and to just cherish even the moments that would drive me crazy, for these are surely the moments that I will miss once he will no longer need me.