Being a first-time mom wasn’t much of a burden for me but it is a job that you don’t get to have a break from and that’s what makes it hard. When you have a baby, you tend to give up on things you used to love or enjoy doing. I know that shouldn’t be the case, but for me, it is. That’s not to say that I am not happy with the changes. It’s not actually “giving up” but more of “forgetting” that I used to enjoy some things before I became a mom.
When you ask moms what they miss before having a child, I know most of them would pretty much have “sleep” as the top answer. I guess I am one of the lucky ones who didn’t have sleepless nights when the newborn arrived. Kai has been sleeping through the night since day one and if he ever did wake me up, it wasn’t much of a problem because I work at home and I’m a light sleeper – I am not bothered by having someone wake me up – just give me two hours of Zzz’s and I’m good.
Still, there are things that I miss doing now that I am a mother.
#.1 Going to the mall alone
When I was single and without a child, I used to go to the mall alone and I pretty much like to stay in the bookstore. I just like to look at book covers, beautiful pens, journals and art supplies. Also, I like to go on a food trip. But clearly, that isn’t happening anymore. At least not at the moment. It’s not just a matter of “I can’t because Kai will be looking and asking for me” but it’s more of “I don’t want to because I can’t stand the thought of leaving him, even if his dad is around.”
It makes me feel guilty leaving my kid behind, which is why the three of us ALWAYS go out together. In short, there’s no more ME time, yes?
#2. Movies and TV series
Gone are the days when I would sleep until 5 a.m. binge watching TV series or checking out different movies. That’s because I don’t have time for it. In the morning, I’ll be busy with work, and playing with Kai in between, and in the evening, I take care of the blogs and play with Kai in between. By the time he’s off to dreamland, I’d be too tired to do things other than blogging and working for the news site.
#3. Quiet time
The only quiet time we have here is between 12 a.m. to 9:30 a.m and about two hours in the afternoon. Those are the times when the little man is asleep. And during the time he’s asleep at night when I can finally have my dose of quiet time, I’m most probably asleep too.
#4. Epic motorcycle rides
Of all the things I miss most after becoming a mom, it’s definitely this! Before we had Kai, me and my partner were crazy about going on a random motorcycle trip. The most epic ride we had was from Cebu to Baguio – two weeks on two wheels! Oh yeah. Negros is also our favorite spot to ride to and we’ve been there more than a couple of times. We just love the place.
Today, it’s just a memory of the good ol’ times. But I’m sure we’ll be back to that, just not sure when.
#5. Being in the front seat
There was a time when we had to leave Kai for a brief period at his Grammy’s and so we went for a drive with hub to somewhere. I’m finally back in the front seat and it felt like a long time. I usually sit at the back now with the little man.
#6. Staring into space
Because there’s no me time and quiet time so doing this would be impossible.
#7. Not having to worry
I don’t worry about stuff because I believe there’s always a solution to every problem. I never had to worry about paying the bills or getting up late or sleeping late — that’s BEFORE Kai arrived. But now, I worry about sleeping late or not getting enough sleep, because that might mean I would extend my sleeping hours. And extending my sleeping hours would mean I’d miss my work schedule. One thing leads to another.
And now with Kai, I also get to worry about the big things – his safety, his future, what life would be like for a teenage Kai — yes, I fast forward to that and that’s not an awesome thing to think about. And you worry about having the door shut on his finger. Or worry about not bringing enough diapers. There’s just a lot of mommy things to worry about.
I may be missing these things now but deep inside, I know that I’m going to miss Kai at this stage, which is why forgetting about all the seven things mentioned above doesn’t bother me at all. Because as a mom, I’ve got Kai to think about and that’s what’s important.
What do you miss most about life before your kids? Let me know in the comments below!
[Featured Image by Lime Creatives]