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Today, I yelled at my two-year-old son – but it’s not the first time. And as I write about it, it hurts. It hurts because each time I raise my voice, I go back to the time when Kai was still an infant with not a care in the world. Now he’s growing, he is trying to communicate and wants the world to know what he wants.
He refused to go to have his afternoon nap and he’s been awake for several hours. It’s almost 4 p.m. in the afternoon and he hasn’t gone to sleep. Usually, he’d wake up by four so we could go for walk in the park. The time he’ll be sleeping, I’ll use to work on some of my articles. But I lost my patience and started counting for him to get to bed. That didn’t work and he’s stubborn than ever.
Once he finally settled down to sleep, I watched him and felt sorry I had to do it. Over and over I kept thinking about the infant I used to hold in my arms. I never imagined this phase — the losing patience phase — would come. What’s awful is that once you start with the yelling, you kind of get used to it. That is why I want to break the cycle. I vow never to yell at my little one for his stubbornness again.
We are not perfect. I am not perfect. I am just a first-time mom and I am learning about this thing called parenting. But each day, I do my best to be a better parent than the day before.